


Private

by hyliank8



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Drabble, FUSW, FUSW 2020, Fluff, Grillby is a sweet boyfriend though, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, PTSD, Past Abuse, Prompt Fill, Sans has trust issues, Scars, W. D. Gaster is not related to Skelebros, maybe???, only implied though really, slightly saucy content(TM)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyliank8/pseuds/hyliank8
Summary: There are some stories Sans isn't ready to tell anybody.  Not even Grillby.(For Prompt #1 of Fucked-Up Sansby Week 2020: "Private")
Relationships: Grillby/Sans (Undertale), Implied W. D. Gaster/Sans
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Private

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is 2 days late ooooops, credit 2 [@withtheworms](https://twitter.com/withtheworms) on twitter for the [FUSW 2020 prompt list](https://twitter.com/withtheworms/status/1300900337939869696?s=20)
> 
> also maybe i should mention in advance 4 clarity's sake tht this isn't intended 2 reference the genocide route in any way, just past stuff w/ gaster. first time publishing primarily for a ship that is Not sanster, sooo i hope u enjoyy ;D

“What’s this from?”

Sans’ breath catches in his throat—though it’s not in the same way that it had moments earlier when Grillby’s lips were hot against his neck. He knows what his boyfriend is talking about, knows exactly what Grillby sees beneath the gentle, curious hand placed on his bare sternum.

He was too distracted by Grillby’s heated kisses to think twice about letting the other take off his shirt, and now he’s kicking himself for it.

Grillby’s heat above him suddenly feels just a few degrees too hot, and the perpetual light that bathes Sans’ bones in a comfortable orange glow now feels akin to a spotlight. Sans is overcome by the urge to grab his shirt and pull it back over him— _ anything _ to get rid of this vulnerable feeling—but he forces himself to stay still.

Would playing dumb work? “u-uh, what do you mean?” 

“This mark,” Grillby continues, his tone just as clearly concerned as before. “It looks like... a scar? Down the length of your sternum. Were you hurt?”

Yeah, no, of course that wouldn’t work. All that did was put him on the spot.

Grillby strokes a careful forefinger over the surface of the old groove in his boyfriend’s bones. His brows are pulled together in an expression of worry as he looks down at Sans expectantly, patiently waiting for an answer. Stars, he looks so... genuine, in his concern. And he’s so gentle, so delicate in the way he touches him.

It’s such a stark contrast to how  _ his _ touch felt, so long ago.

_ “Stay still, Sans,” the voice is cold, so much colder than what’s familiar to him. Any hint of warmth or love has been long buried under layers of indifference born from countless doses of self-administered DT. The hands on him are rough—so many pairs, too many pairs, one of them holding a scalpel drenched in red. His throat aches; he’s been screaming for hours. _

_ “I’m not finished with you yet.” _

Sans blinks, pushing the memory away and forcing his focus back onto Grillby. The kind look in his boyfriend’s eyes helps anchor him in the present moment—but part of him hates that, hates the loving look on Grillby’s face for the guilt it fuels in him when he finally gathers his words to speak again.

“it’s... just a birthmark,” he lies. 

The words come out tiny. Sans is all-too-aware of the fact that the groove in his sternum is perfectly centered and directly above where his soul resides, and that it’s surely obvious that such a precisely located mark couldn’t possibly be natural.

Grillby doesn’t say anything for a few moments, but Sans feels him searching his face.

“...You’re lying,” Grillby says then, his voice quiet. “You don’t trust me.” It’s not a question; his tone is calm, tinged with an acceptance that betrays the inaccurate conclusion he’s come to.

“no! no, it’s not that at all,” Sans quickly jumps in. “grillbz, i... i swear i trust you, it’s just that, uh, this...” He trails off for a moment, his eyelights shifting to the side to avoid his boyfriend’s far-too-understanding gaze.

He doesn’t deserve his kindness.

“it’s just kind of... private,” he says finally. “it’s something i’m... not used to sharing with people, ok? i trust you more than almost anybody. and i mean ‘almost’ just accounting for papyrus, really. i just... i’m not ready to talk about this.”

Grillby silently holds his steady expression for a moment longer, then finally nods—Sans hopes he’s realized that he’s gotten a truthful answer out of him.

“I understand,” Grillby murmurs. “I’m sorry if I pushed too hard. Of course you never have to tell me anything, but please... you don’t have to lie to me, okay? I know you don’t like people worrying about you, but please don’t shrug things off when they matter to you.”

Sans almost flinches at that last part; it’s a little bit too... on-the-nose for his liking. Yet, there’s something distinctly intimate about the fact that Grillby knows him well enough both to know the inner workings of his mind and to openly acknowledge his actions for what they are. 

“yeah... okay.” Vulnerability is not a feeling Sans is comfortable with, but he  _ is _ comfortable with Grillby. If there’s anyone he would want to be honest with... it would be him.

_ Isn’t that what he thought about Gaster? _

“I just want you to know that I’m here and that I care about you, okay? You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

It’s true; he’s not alone. Grillby’s here. Grillby cares about him. 

A smile spreads across Sans’ face, the sincerity of his boyfriend’s words warming his soul. 

“...okay. thanks, grillbz.”

“Of course, Sans.” Grillby dips down to give him another sweet kiss, surrounding Sans in his warmth.

Maybe one day. One day, he’ll be ready to tell him everything.

He knows Grillby will wait for him.

**Author's Note:**

> i donT like this but i jus had to publish it and get it outta my folder 😭 i dunno if i will write the rest of these FUSW prompts bcccccc it takes me forever 2 finish anything and i am Desperate 2 finish some more wartime sanster finally, buT we shall see. since apparently i do Not hav an aptitude for predicting wht i will publish next :p
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr (sfw)](https://hyliantimelordin221b.tumblr.com/) or [twitter(nsfw 18+)](https://twitter.com/K8Maybe) or [elsewhere](https://hyliank8.carrd.co/) if u would like ;0
> 
> self-promotion Again buT if you like angsty things and/or sanster (mainly of the unhealthy variety) u might enjoy some of my other works too 😳
> 
> if u comment i lov u


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